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"Out Next Story: The Clintonville Vampire Hunter"
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Welcome back. Our next story takes us to Clintonville, where a crazed young man believed he was living next door to a vampire. Ben Peer thought his neighbor was a living, breathing embodiment of a creature that most people would describe as merely a myth. Not real. Fairy tale, not flesh and blood. Vampire.

Today's events began around dawn this morning, we believe Peer began his assault by escaping onto a shared roof, one that also covered the home of his target, the alleged "vampire". The boys' roommate and his roommate's girlfriend recall a slight disturbance while sleeping, which they've now concluded must have been Peer creeping by them en route to the roof.

Our sources lead us to believe he assembled a great number of tools to guarantee a successful mission. His arsenal included garlic, vials of holy water, bottle rockets and other assorted fireworks, a sword obtained at mother’s house, guns with ultra violet bullets and of course stakes made of wood.

A broken window and a lingering grappling hook allowed our forensic experts to piece together the intriguing and undoubtably dramatic first moments of onslaught; which, more than likely kicked-offed with Peer crashing through the window ready to kill with a blanket of bullets set to conquer any and all in their path. Perhaps an epic ending to this tale.

Or is just the beginning?

Police say the assailant's whereabouts are still unknown. Their only lead was short hand-written note found at the scene of the crime, it reads: “Here lies the body of a vampire that I have turned to dust.” The note was signed, "Ben Peer"

Stranger still, the location where the note was discovered. A cold, dark room in the victim's basement. The note was found atop a pile of ashes next to an empty sarcophagus.

And now onto the weather…